You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
