So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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