the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize