you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
