We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
