There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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