If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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