Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
