Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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