it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize