the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
