You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
