i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize