So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
