Where did you get a picture of my penis
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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