I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Boobs speak an international language.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
