oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
