i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize