apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
