I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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