Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
