when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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