"it" just moved
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
