I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
