Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
