He disabled his match.com account in front of me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
