that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
