I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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