Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
