Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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