U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
