is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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