just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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