when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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