he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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