I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
