Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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