i permit you to call me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize