Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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