How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
even my farts smell like vagina
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Can I color on your dick again?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
