I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
