I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
