found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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