found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
