my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize