Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize