I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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