So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
