My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
