Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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