I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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