is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
