apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
