so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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