You really coming over, don't trick.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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