Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
