a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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