Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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