Can Purell be used as lube?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Randomize