he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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