Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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