We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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