Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So squirting runs in the family.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
