I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
