im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
