took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
