your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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