so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
