tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He felt like a one man threesome
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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