Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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