The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
