We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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