sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize