i'm signing you up for texting rehab
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
