can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
