fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
