You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
