I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't put those talents on a resume
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
