video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
