I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize