i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
