omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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