You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
