he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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