it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
