then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
