I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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