someone get that fucking seahorse.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
